YTP Vid: It's a Wonderful Loaf - Part 1

Merry Christmas! This took forever, but it was a ton of fun to get to know some of the ins and outs of YouTube Pooping. I also notice that there aren't any other YTPs of It's a Wonderful Life online, so who knows? Maybe it'll get more views than my other vids.

Fun with Song Lyrics

I come from a family with a sense of humor. The thing I miss most from them when I'm away from home is their individual laughs; When we're together we're always quoting lines from What About Bob?, Galaxy Quest, and ¡Three Amigos!; Our earliest family videos show us being silly and joking with each other. It seems like there's always an unspoken contest to see who's next to make everyone laugh.

One of the things my brother and I like to do on the fly is make fun of songs that are playing. I realized that there are at least three ways we like to do this.

A couple of surprises

On Hearthstone, there are special "golden" cards that are animated with special effects. Besides that and their higher worth/cost, they're just the same as normal cards. But I like them. Anyway, I decided to try my hand at making my own on Adobe Premiere. These are three gods from the Argae mythos. They're really low resolution because I wanted to use them on my Argae forum, but it turns out they're too big to put as avatars anyway. Go figure. Oh well. A fun idea and a nice gateway experiment for making GIFs.

And that's the sign that I need a vacation

Battle of Finnsburg Reading

I decided to try my hand at reading Old English aloud. Here's a passage from the poem on the last post.

Anglo-Saxon Translation: The Battle of Finnsburg

I'm learning Old English! And what better place to preserve my translations than Pretzel Lectern? This particular piece is an intense epic battle poem, but sadly only this fragment survives.

Blog Design overhaul?

So... what do you think of the new Pretzel Lectern? I thought the old version looked a little juvenile and flashy, so I tried to streamline it a bit and improve the overall appearance. But what do you think? Do you think it's boring now? I welcome your input as followers of my blog, so if you like the other way (or something more similar to the old way) better than this style, I would appreciate your feedback.

Abelhawk's Final Smash

I've been meaning to make this for a long time. I came up with the idea years ago for if I were a Super Smash Bros. character. I took it in this shirt so that I could use it as my YouTube cover picture to match the avatar I drew.

Geeky? You bet it is. That's how I roll.

Story: The Bridge

The Bridge

One day while lost hiking alone, Jack came upon a thicket in the forest that had leaves of strange colors. He entered a small archway in the brush and came upon a bridge. The bridge spanned a large chasm, the bottom wreathed in black shadows too deep to see. On the other side of the bridge was a land unlike Jack had ever seen. There were fruit trees as far as he could see, rolling hills, and mountains decorated with blue waterfalls. He began to cross the bridge, intent on exploring the beautiful land, when suddenly an immense humanoid being with wings flew out from beneath the bridge and perched in front of him.

            “I am the guardian of the Bridge. You are fortunate to have stumbled upon this place.”

            “Bridge to where?” asked Jack, “I don’t even know where I am.”

            “The lands beyond are the Realm of Happiness. The people who have passed before you were wise and brave, and have built a perfect city where there is no disease, no crime, no war, and no pestilence. If you pass, then you will die only of old age, full and happy.”

            Jack thought of his life. He had little to live for back home. He had no family, no wife or children, and his job was nothing to be proud of anyway. He looked at the lands beyond, seeing a rainbow gleaming over a field of wheat. He thought he saw a glimpse of golden buildings near the horizon.

            Jack took a breath. “I wish to pass, Guardian.”

            “Very well. But to pass you must prove your wisdom. I will ask you a riddle. If you answer correctly, I will give you leave to cross the bridge, and your new life will begin. But if you answer incorrectly, I must instead end your life.”

            Jack was taken aback. “Are… are those the only options?”

            The being blinked its almond-shaped eyes. “Once I ask the riddle, your life will never be the same. However, you are free now to leave the way you came. But you will never find this bridge again.”

            Jack thought, looking out over the beautiful land. Then he looked off the side of the bridge at the blackness beneath. He opened his mouth to speak, then swallowed. He took a step backward. Then he walked through the multicolored leafy arch, never looking back.

            He soon found his way back to the trail, and made it home safely. He fell asleep that night peacefully, but in the morning he felt troubled. He had expected to forget what had happened the day before, but it was more vivid in his mind than the dreams he had had that night.

            Eventually he could go days without thinking of the strange bridge, but he never forgot the look in the winged being’s orange eyes.

An Ode to Blizzard

A couple of days ago I was invited by Blizzard Entertainment to be a part of the beta for their new game Hearthstone. I don't know how often they take aboard new beta testers (I even asked on Yahoo Answers), but it is a great honor nonetheless. Not only do I get to play the game before it's released, but I also get to see it in its beta stage and help the company work out bugs.

KnightmareGames logo

I'm in a design class right now. It's required for my major; otherwise, I might not have taken it. Still, I'm glad I was able to learn about certain tactics in alignment, contrast, etc., which I may not have figured out on my own. It's always satisfying to learn more about something that you've always known about innately, finding out there's a science to it.
Anyway, if I ever market Corridor, Epic Chess, or any of the other board games I'm coming up with ideas for, this is definitely a pretty good looking logo and name for a company.

This is just the first draft, so obviously it'll get better, but I really think the logo picture itself is very aesthetically pleasing. It's drawn with vectors, as well, so the curves are perfect and scaleable. If I change anything it'll probably be the arrangement of the text or something.
Speaking of board games, I've been making great progress on Corridor's new look of cards. I've hit a snag, however, and need to further playtest the game to see how I can expand the skill sets and balance stats with monsters. I'll also need to figure out how I'm going to procure the art needed for the new cards. The items are easy, obviously, but skills and creatures... yeah. Those'll either take a lot of time or a lot of money to make.

The Year

January is like the Monday of the year. The year’s weekend holidays are over, and it’s kind of a bummer, but you’re relaxed and energetic and ready to get back to work. For a while. But the weather is gloomy, new annual reports need to be filed, New Year’s resolutions and goals need to be made, numbers need to be crunched. And the early months’ saturated Mondayness make the weeks drag on and on and on until you find yourself thinking “If I can just make it past February, I can survive.”

Argaenothruzil Classic

Today I stumbled upon an old email in my archives that was a message to myself containing a single link: http://pub45.bravenet.com/forum/static/show.php?usernum=3860195469&frmid=6335.

This link leads to Argaenothruzil Classic, the original forum that my friends and I used to start our stories. It's been really fun for me to look over how the somewhat vast mythos of Argaenothruzil began as the simplest of universes. The races seem cliché simply because they began that way as meaningless lists of adjectives. Now at least they have backstories, cultures, and geographic locations.

Dustin better feel honored to be featured twice in a row on my blog!

Dustin, the antagonist of the last post's comic strip, is currently coming up with ideas for movies. I YTP'd this home video of his to show him my (and Adobe Premier Pro's), so it was a fun little YouTube Poop exercise.

Comic: Cupid

This comic is dedicated completely to my best friend Dustin.
This is the longest comic I've ever lettered and colored digitally! It took me a lot longer than I thought, especially given that I didn't care at all about the panel shapes and did a half-bummed job on the shading/coloring. But either way, it was fun to make. and really fun to have something long enough to have to organize and outline. If ideas like this grew on trees, I'd plant an orchard and actually have a full-out comic blog! I'd also have a lot less free time. :D

Corridor Cards Update

While thinking of fun things to customize, I decided to look up how much it would cost to make a deck of custom playing cards. Not only was what I found affordable—it had more creative capabilities than I had thought! Some sites I found even allow you to design the back and front of each individual card. This gave me an idea for something that would definitely be worth putting time into: revamping Corridor completely!

The Spider's Doom

Audio mixing is harder than it looks. But sometimes videos just somehow magically fit to the already-recorded music track.

End of the summer update

Well, now that summer is over and I feel like I've gotten all the computer-game playing and vegging out of my system, hopefully I'll be able to buckle down and work on some projects again. It seems like in the summertime I'm lazier, even though I'm working more than doing homework. I think the intellectual stimulation of school inspires me to work on personal projects more. I just hope I don't get stuck in a permanent rut after I graduate.

Abelhawk the Archmage

This one didn't turn out as good as the other one color-wise, but I liked doing it just the same. This is the fictional character whose name I use in everything, as I best imagine him in my books. Strictly speaking, this drawing is based on his Argaenothruzil incarnation in the present era.

Vilhellm Xonafitii

I got in the mood to draw today, so I drew the protagonists of the current story I'm writing with my cousin. This first one is my character, Vilhellm "Will" Xonafitii. One thing you should know about my own mythos, Argaenothruzil, is that though it uses lots of cliches (such as elves, dwarves, and vampires), it does so so that I as the writer can interpret them in my own way. In a sense, it's a sort of my fanfiction of classic fantasy.

Will is a wampyre, a recently discovered race (for mainland Argaenothruzil) from Nerolanth. Wampyres in my universe are not bloodthirsty monsters. They are simply another race in the world. They are a nocturnal race, mainly because their skin is sensitive to the sun; their eyes can range from red and orange to pink and magenta in color; they only drink blood from animals, and some even drink the juice from fruits. They are a vain race who value their family lines, ingenuity, and written works.

Will himself spent some of his childhood in mainland Argaenothruzil, so he learned to speak Argaen without a Nerolanthian accent. His main goal in the story is to travel to Argae and become a part-time diplomat and a full-time artifact hunter. He meets Zenaeron, my cousin's character, and they set off together to go on adventures. You can read the story as it stands thus far here, and it's a work in progress, so we're adding to it almost daily.

I'll upload other pictures soon!

The Creation of the World

I've been slacking on projects due to an especially enthusiastic playthrough of Oblivion, so here's a filler: A look into the world of Argaenothruzil (my play-by-post forum RPG) and its creation.

The Creation of the World 

Before the world existed, there was only Void. Matter chaotically flowed through the infinite Void with no reason to do anything else. The only life in the entire universe were the Intelligences. The Intelligences were beings that resembled what humans would later become. They knew the balance of the cosmos and how, more or less, to control it. There were many Intelligences, but nine in particular had great leadership skills amongst the rest

It became meet in time for the Intelligences of the cosmos to organize the matter in the universe and pass on their lineage to lesser beings, mortals. All of the Intelligences agreed that the population of mortals they created should appear in their own image, but before they could create life, they would have to create a world on which their denizens could live. From the matter scattered across the infinite Void, they sorted out five important elements: Fire, Water, Earth, Air, and Quintessence.

Quintessence was the same substance that flowed through the veins of the Intelligences. They used this godly essence to construct the countless stars in the sky.

From Earth, the Intelligences created planets, moons and other bodies of rock to serve as the solid representation of matter in the universe. They especially made great care to form the World on which they planned to let their heirs inhabit.

They used the element Fire to create a yellow Sun to warm their new world. Some Fire was also used within the world itself and other planets.

Water was used mostly for the seas and oceans of the world, but some Water was frozen and wrapped around stars called comets.

Air was useless to the Intelligences, but they created with it a bubble of pure Air around the world in hopes that their inferiors could use it to sustain their mortal life.

Having now a mortal world on which to extend their children’s lives, the Intelligences created a race of strong, healthy humans from the dirt on which they were destined to stand. The Intelligences also created many different animals and plants to accompany them. To make the mortal lives begin, the Intelligences inserted into their veins the most special of all their creations, blood. This sacred fluid was the epitome of the Intelligences’ love for their children.

At this time, the Intelligences of the cosmos reached an argument. What would the human race’s objective in life be? The nine head Intelligences each had a different point of view for the mortal race, but they were divided into three main viewpoints. One group believed that the human race should want to help each other and work together. Another believed that they should work only for their own pride and self-accomplishment. Still another believed that both of the others were wrong, and that something in-between should be achieved, something balanced, like the way in which the world was created.

At last, most of the Intelligences agreed that all of the various viewpoints would be present in their world of men, and that a compromise should be made. But some of the Intelligences were deeply offended and demanded that their way should be the only one present. At this point, the Intelligences made a “Great Division” within themselves. Two-thirds of the nine became known as Gods, hoping for the well-being of the world, and one third became known as Demons, hoping for the possible destruction of what they had just helped create. The latter group and its followers were driven out of the council and shunned.

The world was made up of two continents: Argaenothruzil(or “Gods’ Crown”) and Elidethnar(or “Noble Diamond”). After the Great Division, the Demons attempted at once to seize control of the world for their own practices. The Gods and their army of Angels outnumbered the cowardly Demons, and succeeded in saving Argaenothruzil from their evil taint. Unfortunately, the dark grasp of the Demons held fast to the latter continent of Elidethnar. The continent was corrupted beyond the Gods’ control of it. Before the blight could spread, the Gods decided to use their remaining element of Air to thwart the Demons’ plan. With their remaining supply of element Air, the Gods conjured massively violent storms surrounding the corrupt island in hopes that none of their noble children on Argaenothruzil would be touched by its dark influence. The storms successfully ceased the Demons’ invasion, but the humble continent of Elidethnar was lost. The Gods’ children there were no longer in the safety of their influence. Only a small part of their power could occupy them any longer. The Demons rejoiced in their taking of the entire continent to their own. They renamed the continent Eredathios, meaning “Black Possession.”

To this day the Gods extend their help to their beloved blood-children in hopes that they can sustain the order of the world, but not all of their heirs held fast to the feelings of Good in their hearts. Many let their ungodly passions corrupt their own minds and become under the Demons’ influence, and some even lost the love of order altogether, and sought to aid their Demon lord masters. However, most of the blood-children adhere to the standards set by their divine creators, even through the much evolution the world’s population has gone through, to the splitting of races besides pure humans. In many societies, they construct magnificent temples in worship to the Gods. Although, of course, there are those gullible and weak-minded who spill their own precious god-given blood in sacrifice to Demons as well. The Nine Deities and their alignments are as follows:

Vendictes: The most pure of the Gods, Vendictes dwells in the hearts and minds of the blood-children in hopes that he can guide them in their thoughts to what is right in their lives and the lives of others. He is always with those who are Virtuous.

Phroella: Known as the Nature Mother by some, Phroella is always anxious to use her argument-quelling powers to settle the various disputes among men. She is the Goddess of sympathy, regret, and forgiveness, and the Goddess of Peace.

Bezzoan: The noblest God is by far Bezzoan, who puts determination and fervor into the hearts of his blood-children. He is a warrior God, but not a bloodthirsty one. He is revered by those who value their Honor above all else.

Henaeros: The wisest of the Gods and the organizer of the world’s creation, it was Henaeros who protected Argaenothruzil from the steady corruption of Eredathios. Henaeros is the God who never changes, and he believes that the world should be that way as well. Henaeros is the God of Order.

Ezrim: Ezrim, who esteemed the Demons’ actions intolerable in comparison to the Gods’, chose to join their order. He was the founder of the cities and governments of Argaenothruzil and gave the kings of such cities divine right to rule. Those who seek Justice are favorites of Ezrim’s.

Moeki: Moeki was actually one of the Intelligences who proposed a selfish race of humans, but in seeing his comrades the Demons outnumbered in vote joined the Gods instead. He is a cunning, sneaky God, and he still believes deep down that the favor of others is ultimately important. Those who seek Fortune worship Moeki in particular.

Rauroth: Perhaps the most quick-tempered of the Demons, Rauroth’s entire being is consumed in hatred for the Gods and his banishment from their council. Those of the world who find themself in a similar vengeful state of mind will find themself growing closer to the influence of Rauroth, the Demon of Revenge.

Khlamul: Followers of Khlamul are rarely religious, busying themselves entirely in the workings of science and knowledge, in hopes of dominating others. He was among one of the more missed of the council, as his lust for knowledge was rivaled only by Henaeros. Now he sees no other way to defeat the Gods than to overtake them by making himself more Powerful than they.


D’nethrokash: The most evil of all the Demons, it was D’nethrokash the Corrupter who succeeded in obtaining Eredathios from the Gods’ control. He is the Demon of Chaos, and seeks to destroy everything that he does not control. Many of the citizens living on the Eredathios continent were driven mad with his dark energies, but his influence extends to a small number of individuals in Argaenothruzil as well.

__________________________________

By way of commentary (so this post isn't a complete cop-out), I think it's interesting how I made this up without too much thought, but that certain archetypes seen in other stories apply here. For example, just like in the Elder Scrolls mythos, there are Nine "Divines," though admittedly three became evil. This is also an interesting allusion to LDS theology, in that "a third" of the hosts of heaven chose Satan's plan over God's.
I also, if you notice, tried to add variety to the Deities' names by making each one have a different beginning sound and ending sound.
Bonus points for whoever can comment and guess who the actors are I used to portray them.
I HATE the actor I had to choose for Vendictes, but that is literally the only picture I could find that remotely resembled the god I imagined in my head. If anyone knows of an older actor who has a beard and a benevolent smile, please let me know.

Story: The Phoenix Suns Coat

And now it’s time for storytime with Austin. Today's story: The Tale of the Phoenix Suns Coat.

When I was in Fifth Grade, I had a Phoenix Suns coat. It was a pretty nice coat, as coats go. It was purple and orange, and had a shining basketball on the back. It was probably a hand-me-down, but I liked it. My coat didn’t have a zipper—it was one of those pullover-style coats with a hood. Basically like a hoodie made of the slick, snow-resistant coat material.

New Project: Corridor Role-playing Game

I decided just randomly a week or so ago (Literally randomly. I seriously can't even think of what gave me the idea. I was just suddenly there at my computer, with four pages typed up already) to make a handbook for the original Corridor game (previously called "The Hero," and "Dungeons of Doom") that my brother and friends would play as kids.

Battle Cards Spotlight 3a: Gameplay I

Part 3a: Gameplay

I'm not sure if my friends and I ever came up with a standardized way of playing Battle Cards. In fact, to my memory I can only remember playing about ten full games total. There were some mechanics that we never were able to completely iron out before the Age of Battle Cards came to an end, but I'll do my best to remember for the purposes of this post.

Comic: Those Darn Pine Trees

It's likely that only people who have had a mowing job will get this, but it was fun to draw anyway. I've been in a real comic-drawing mood lately. I wish I could just force myself to do an epic 12-page fantasy graphic novel using Knight Guys, but that just leaves me frustrated. In the meantime, enjoy!

Battle Cards Spotlight 2: Design

Part 2: Design

The attributes of our cards evolved over time, just like any project that adds on to itself. But we were able to basically divide the types of cards we manufactured into some simple categories that stuck. Each card contained one of these symbols in the upper-right corner, signifying its element or function:

The Hero's Journey

When I was taking my Creative Writing course in college two years ago, I learned about something called The Hero's Journey that changed my life. Or at least the way I look at life and stories. Basically, the Hero's Journey (or Monomyth) is a formula that Joseph Campbell came up with that maps out what makes good stories good, and shows a distinct pattern in the sequence and characteristics of every story ever written.

Writing Center Infomercial

Done! Check out what I've been working on for the past month or so. Most of the work was finding people to cast in it, but it's finally done. I work at the Writing Center and our old video was... lacking in luster, to say the least... so I thought this one would be both entertaining and informative. It was a lot of fun to write the script, direct the filming and voice acting (in an actual recording studio too!), and edit the footage in the end.

A big thanks to all the actors (both willing and unwilling), the Writing Center Staff, Peterzach Power for the logo and color scheme input, my little brother for the wastebasket shot, and the infomercial that inspired me, Orgreenic Cookingware (don't buy it, but it is a convincing infomercial).

AustinCraft Pics up

I finished revamping AustinCraft after the big update that separated the files, and I just added a bunch of screenshots to show samples of the game. I realized I hadn't really done that much.
So if you're a Minecraft player, go check it out! I really think you'll enjoy it.

And I am working on a project, I promise. It's actually for my work, so I'm getting paid for it. It'll be done later this week and you Pretzel-Lectern watchers will be the third group to see it! (Right after my actual work staff members and the VIP showing for the volunteer actors, and right before Facebook)

Minecraft: Search for The End

Creative Writing Inspiration

Yesterday, I got to go to a book signing of my second-favorite author of all time, Brandon Sanderson, who signed my number-one favorite book trilogy of all time, Mistborn! That checked off an item on my Bucket List I forgot was even on there! (I really need to actually write down my Bucket List)
Branderson, as I will refer to him henceforth, is an epic fantasy writer renowned for his non-cliché fantasy settings and incredibly clever magic systems. I’ve read most of his mainstream adult novels, and expect to read his teen books as well. Going to his book signing was an energizing experience, because I got to have a taste of the inner mind and soul of the author I have come to admire in the past three years. Branderson is a champion writer; his passion for writing made me remember my own fiery resolve to write stories that has mainly fizzled out. He read some raw passages from his upcoming novels straight from the word processor on his laptop to us. One of the passages he had written that very day!

Battle Cards Spotlight 1: History

I found my old Battle Card deck, so I finally get to make some project spotlights and explain what they're all about! Let's start at the beginning...

Part I: The History of Battle Cards

Dream: The Mystic Penguin

I've kept a pretty consistent Dream Journal since 2010, writing down my most vivid dreams as I dream them. I've been going through it lately, and I just love how incredibly random dreams can be! I don't even know where my brain gets this stuff! Anyway, I've always loved hearing about other people's dreams, so maybe you'll enjoy hearing some of mine. Heck, you should even post interpretations in the comments!
---

November 19, 2012

For some reason I knew the outcome of this entire dream. It was like I was watching a movie but couldn’t remember all the details. There was some sort of super rare blue penguin that had a lumpy head and was very smart. It only lived in frozen sewers. For some reason one was desperately needed, so I went underground looking for one. When I entered the sewers, I was daunted by an endless maze of pipelines. I sighed, realizing I’d never find a penguin. Just then I looked behind me and one was right there. I took it up into the subway tunnel and fed it some sunflower seeds. It was basically just a normal penguin, but more humanlike. For example, it would sometimes pick a sunflower seed out of its mouth and look at it if it was having a hard time cracking or if it tasted bad. Someone passed by me and acknowledged the penguin, but I could tell they didn’t believe that was what it was because it was so rare.
Later, on the surface, I had to have some sort of scary operation, but something happened that canceled it. It was something about Denny’s and another restaurant having a competition, or a get-together, or a debate, or a legal battle, or a concert. Some lady was talking about how she and her family were going to go, and that it was a ‘dress-up-nicely’ event, and that they had gone early and won hoodies. I was just glad there was no operation for me. My friend Dustin was in the dream and he had a lisp for some reason. He was involved in the having of operations too or something like that.
Sometime after that encounter, I woke up.

Lightning Masta

My brother and I had some fun with After Effects before the trial expired. But most of this was actually put together on Premiere, so hopefully I can come up with more like it soon.

Drawing: Techno-Mamn

This was just a doodle while practicing figure drawing that was fun to end up digitally coloring.

Also, it seems spammers have found Pretzel Lectern, so now I have to approve comments. I think they found it because of my game reviews (specifically Path of Exile)... what I hoped would be a way for legit people to come see my site has backfired. :(

Comic: Pizza Party

As always, click to enlarge. This one's credit goes to my wife Karen! Happy Mother's Day to her.
P.S... You can expect some kind of influx of comics this summer, because I am really getting into drawing them with this book How to Draw Comics by Scott McCloud.

Chariots of Water

Hey all! Just finishing up my vacation, and I finally got Adobe Premier Pro! So I'll hopefully be able to put up some excellent videos soon. But until then, here's just a simple video I made with my brothers last year (keeping with my tradition of releasing vids at least 6 months after making them).

Super Mowing Job 2

I made this as a training video for my dad's mowing business, Brent's Lawn & Leisure. Not bad for having used Windows Movie Maker.

Corridor Class Pictures Set #3

Here's the next batch!
Attack = †, Defense = ♜, Magic = ☆, and Magic Defense = ☯. 

Inconceivable Logic

I have recently learned a little about Logic in my semantics class, and decided to make a logical diagram of Vizzini's reasoning in the Battle of Wits on the Princess Bride. I have used the film version, rather than the book version.
I know next to nothing about Logic, so if anyone has any corrections, let me know. It was mostly for fun, however, and all we can determine from Vizzini's logic is that he was trying to stall Westley all along and pull a fast one on him. Socrates and Galileo morons, eh? Well, who's the man who poisoned both the goblets and lived? Not you, Mr. Sicilian!

I got published!!

Hey everyone, I finally finished a ten-minute short film I've been working on with my friends for the past four years, and some people on YouTube actually published it! Click here to watch it!

Recipe #4: Gringo Feijoada

If I haven't mentioned it before, I went to Brazil for two years. Among the cultural things I learned to love was their incredible cuisine. It is incredible how simple ingredients like beans and rice can make absolutely delicious meals in Bahia, Brazil. The ingredients are sometimes hard to find here in the States, but the following recipe is one that I invented that, while very American, at least does the flavorfulness of Brazilian lunches justice.

Gringo Feijoada

"Uma delícia não-brasileira!"

 Ingredients

• 1 tsp. minced garlic
• ¼–½ onion, diced
• 1 can black beans
• 1 can Bean-with-Bacon soup OR canned pinto beans
• 2 all-beef hot dogs, sliced
• 4 slices bacon, cut into pieces and cooked
• 1 tsp. pepper
• 1 tsp. cumin
• 2 tbsp. (or more) cilantro

Directions

1. Sauté the onions and garlic until sautéed.
2. Add can of black beans (with juice) and can of bean with bacon soup to pot. Add ½ bean-with-bacon soup can of water.
3. Add hot dog slices and bacon, then stir in spices except cilantro. I also added Brazilian spices, but I'm sure you won't have access to those. :(
4. After awhile, when you're ready to eat, throw in the cilantro.
5. Eat over Brazilian rice (see below) with Frank's Red Sauce and cuzcuz*, farinha†, or farofa‡. It's also good with beef on the side, or chicken, or a fried egg. 

YIELD: Like 3 or 4 servings.
____
Directions for Brazilian Rice

1. Sauté some onions and garlic until sautéed.
2. Add a cup of rice, and stir around until the rice turns an opaque white color.
3. Put in two cups of water, and salt/spices to taste.
4. Bring to a boil, cover, and let simmer for 10-12 minutes.
5. Remove from heat and let sit for 5 minutes.
6. Fluff with a fork, eat beneath Feijoada (see above).

YIELD: About 4 or 5 servings. Eat the extra serving with chicken or something if you want.

Washes down well with...  Guaraná (Brazilian soda), Sprite, or exotic fruit juice/punch like mango.
___
*Not actual couscous, it's made from corn. Try your nearest Latino store and look for Flocão brand.
† Mandioca or cassava flour. Probably easier to find than cuzcuz.
‡ Farinha that's been sautéed with bacon and onions. It's a Brazilian thing. Don't worry about it if you've never tried it.

Game Review: Cave Story+

Abelhawk's Game Review of

Cave Story+

  
 Platform: PC (Steam), Wii

Genre: Sci-fi, Post-apocalyptic

Style: Platformer, Adventure, Shooter

Price: Cheap ($10)

URL: http://www.cavestory.org/

Customized!

My custom mousepad came in the mail today! Now I can get rid of that old nondescript one. I love customizing things, especially with art from my favorite computer games. Can anyone guess which game this one is from?

For the answer, see Abelhawk's Top 5 - Computer Games #2.

Now I just need to wait for the potent "new rubber" smell to air out of it.

Corridor Class Pictures Set #2

Six down, ten to go! Remember, Attack = †, Defense = ♜, Magic = ☆, and Magic Defense = ☯.
To see the first set, click here.

Data Month Stats

Well, I stuck to it for a month straight... keeping a notebook in my pocket and jotting down whenever one of these things happened. This somehow made February both last very long and be over very soon. Now I have a boatload of statistics of my life! I was hoping to be able to organize it so it's more impressive, with charts and graphs and things, but maybe I'll do that some other day. For now, I'm just really tired of taking down stats, so I'll just barf all the data onto this post. For the record, these data aren't that impressive. I probably would have calculated things a little differently if I did it again. For example, instead of "encounters" with people, I would just count how many people I encountered. I think that would have yielded better results. For now, here it all is plus some definitions for the odd stats in small print at the bottom. Enjoy!

Random Knight Guy drawings

Sorry I haven't written much. You'd think now that I'm focusing my college studies in editing I'd be more inclined to come up with short stories or something to put on the blog. Alas, but my writer's block has almost reached its two-year mark.

These are a couple of graphic art drawings I made last week, inspired from the drawings of Knight Guy I found. I remembered the four basic Knight Guy types and decided to put them in color for the first time.

Obviously, they're somewhat based on the different genres of armor through history—European, pseudo-Nordic, Groman, and New World(?). I think I've made some mocked-up ones of Oriental armor and even a futuristic style. Perhaps I'll add them later.

The Mirror Armor looks retarded. Maybe I'll fix it sometime and make the gradient chrome instead. At any rate, these upgrades to the basic ones are based on unlikely materials that could be used for armor. I'm surprised that so many video games have cacti but rarely use them for anything but dyes and potion ingredients. Why not make a not-so-durable armor that returns damage to attackers?
Anyway, it's a style thing more than any

Audiobook practice

I really got into audiobooks a couple of years ago. There's just something about someone reading a story to you aloud that makes it easier to visualize than when you're using decoding power in your brain reading it yourself. I also like hearing professional voice actors use different voices for every character in a way that I like to do impressions as well.
That's why I'm considering doing an audiobook version of a story on my Argaenothruzil forum. Namely, the only story that really has a beginning, middle, and end, Alfred and the Cavern of Time. Here is a sample of what I would try doing if I were to do the entire book.

What do you think? Do I speak too quickly? Are the sound effects in the background too distracting? Since it was my first time, I obviously didn't articulate too well. I'm sure there are ways I could facilitate that for myself while reading in the future. Also, this is not the final cut of the book itself. There are parts in this story that will be changed. This is mostly just a test to see how a project like this would work, if I did decide to do it.
For the most part, however, it was fun to make, and my cousin and I (his blog is listed as Whited Sepulcre Blog on the top right) are going to begin copyediting and cover editing the story so that the real production may begin.

Relic Comic: Knight Fight

I've saved the best for last this week of uploading Relic Comics, though I have enjoyed every one of them I've been able to share with you. I hope to be able to find more to post on Pretzel Lectern after future visits to my ancient Tablet Vault. This is another comic with Knight Guy, showing him against his nemesis. This is obviously a much more pseudo-friendly situation than was normal for the two, but the presentation in my opinion is excellent.

I hope you got as big a laugh out of it as I did. It's funny how Knight Guy's cape keeps appearing and disappearing. That was kind of a running gag throughout his lifetime as a character, because I could just never decide if he looked better with or without it.

Relic Comic: The Hero Comic

I made this as a way to illustrate the story of The Hero, the pen-and-paper precursor to Corridor. The story used to begin this way, with King Forseti defeating the Hero and banishing him to his personal dungeon. This comic also shows briefly the second level of the dungeon, the Hedge Maze, which would be encountered after making it through the dungeon (although my friends and I never kept a single game going that long). Thirdly, the Hero would have to navigate through the final 'layer,' Forseti's castle.

I apologize for some of the hard-to-read text. It's a lot easier to read on the pencil copy.

There are a few notable things in this comic. Every game of The Hero would begin with you alone in a room with a sword. You would always get the sword straight off, as well as sometimes a simple spell leaflet. Also, this was when I was obsessed with Norse Runes, so one version of this game had an entire array of runes you could socket into your weapons to give them abilities. The Princess uses the Ansuz rune, which was the rune of wisdom (and thus, the mind, used for telepathy in this case). Any playtesters of Corridor will recognize nearly all the enemies here—the orc/ogre, the ghost, and the stone dragon head, which is what is attempting to kill the hero in the last frames. The boss monster Krakgrag is based off of the giant seen here, and Heimdall the shopkeeper is indirectly implemented in the board game as well.
I have also since done away with the "no eyes" concept of art used in this comic. Though in a future post I will talk more about where I got the idea for the little stick figures in the The Hero/Corridor universe.

Relic Comic: Knight Guy's Lament

I drew quite a bit of this guy my senior and junior years in high school. The way each part of him is put together makes him not only extremely easy to draw, but very expressive as well. I've tinkered with different names for him, most on puns of the word "knight" ("Silent Knight" was a stupid idea, but somewhat fitting, as he usually talks in punctuation marks and thought bubbles), but I guess for now I'll call him Knight Guy. There are at least four different Knight Guys I made up, each based on a different helmet type. But this guy was always the main protagonist. The wizard shown here was an example of how hard it was to create a universe of same-proportioned beings like these without helmets on.

I tried a different approach on Photoshop to make this one look more shaded. I can't tell if it works or not. It's a shame I drew so much in pencil back then. No, I take it back: it's a shame that scanners can't accurately scan pencil drawings.

Relic Comic: Reginald the Ugly Hero

While at my parents' house for President's Day weekend, I uncovered a veritable treasure trove of old comic pages that I drew when I was in high school, and will be uploading them this week. They really made me sentimental about the days when pencils were my medium of art, and really made me want to draw comics much more often. I think nowadays I worry way too much about plot and forget how much fun it is to simply draw a comic and let it write itself.

As far as commentary goes on this little gem, I like the humorously melodramatic dialog, the trope breakers of making the hero hideously ugly and making the king extremely jumpy and nervous when he's surprised, the deus ex machina hanging plant and bucket of water, and the hilariously unexpected ending.

Sorry about that panel on the right... The paper I scanned actually seemed to have some sort of burn damage somehow. O.o

Another tiny pointless vid

My brother and I are considering making a simple computer game or app with some unused graphics he made a couple of years ago. This is the archer.

Path of Exile playthrough

Hey-lo friends, my friends Jarockajule and Asrenim and I all played a few hours of Path of Exile this past weekend. You can watch our adventures and get a feel for the dynamics of gaming in our friendship on YouTube. This link here will lead you to the first part of the series. It shouldn't be hard to find the others on the same channel.
I hope someday I can afford a nice recording program (not to mention a more powerful computer) so I can do these more often from my point of view and with my own editing touches.
Enjoy!

Game Review #1: Path of Exile

I've been wanting to do this for awhile, so here goes. I hope you find my reviews of games informative and entertaining.

Abelhawk's Game Review of

 Path of Exile 

Data Month Snippet

Data Month is going pretty well. I have to wear a wristband to remind me all the time that I need to be recording stuff. But it's pretty good. I'm managing everything on an Excel document to calculate totals and averages. As a commemoration of the first week of Data Month, here are a few weekly averages of my life:

Average hours of sleep per night: 7.5
Average webcomics looked at per day: 1.8
Average car rides per day: 2
Average diapers changed daily: 2.3
Average number of daily urinations: 7
Average hours of computer played each day: 1.6
Average phone calls daily: 3
Average number of encounters with friends: 1.14

Well, that's just a tidbit, but it's kind of fun to see it calculated like this. I hope that I can continue firm to get an actual monthly average. It's kind of nice to see these stats too, in case anyone asks. For example, the number of hours I sleep on average. The urination one was always a curiosity to me as well.

I've got plans for some posts real soon! Keep it real!

Data Month Begins!

I've started Data Month, which has a stupid name but a fun premise—recording statistics of day-to-day life! I'm keeping a notebook in my pocket at all times to record every encounter I have with other people, every time I access Facebook, the hours I spend working on projects and playing computer games, and even how many times I clip my fingernails!

I think the hard work and concentration of this "project" will do me good, and provide some interesting results of statistics and averages come March 1.

I'd just like to say I'm really glad I created this blog. It's been sort of a Magnum Opus to me, compiling loads of memories and using it as a way to record the progress on my projects. I have some great things planned for later this month when I visit my parents. I'm going to showcase a planet I invented when I was a kid. That'll open the possibilities to add to childhood storylines with the knowledge I have as an adult now.

So many possibilities! So much to explore. I wonder if I'm the only one who digs into my childhood and past like an archaeological dig, hoping to find glittering gems of interesting ideas and adding updated edges to them.

Thanks for visiting Pretzel Lectern today!

New Page: Abelhawk's Top 5

I love lists. Don't you love checklists? Checking a box on a checklist is literally like gaining an achievement on a video game! I also love "Top 10" lists. It's fun to celebrate perfection by giving books and movies and things a place of honor in a Top 10 list. To have fun with this, and to let you all learn a little more about me, I've created a page called Abelhawk's Top 5, (Some things are just too hard to group in 10's) on the right. Feel free to check it out, and have you visited my other pages? You might find something interesting.
I recognize my interests are so diverse, and sometimes I feel this blog appeals to such a scarce percentage because so many people's interests are completely unlike mine, and I focus mainly on the things that entertain me.
If you'd like to see something on the blog, though, please let me know! And thanks for coming here to Pretzel Lectern in the first place.
Later days!
~ Abelhawk

February is Data Month!

Guess what, friends? Inspired by Nicholas Felton of feltron.com, I’ve come up with an awesome project for this next month of February. It rivals the dedication of my Techno-Quaresma of 2011, and it’ll yield interesting results! May I introduce to you…

DATA MONTH!

fThat’s right, starting February 1, 2013, I’m going to carry a notepad in my pocket at all times, jotting down statistics of everything I do with my life for the period of one month! Then I’ll share these statistics here on Pretzel Lectern to see what a typical month for me is like. Here are some examples of the categories I’m going to record:

- Hours slept

- Restaurants eaten at

- Emails received

- Texts received

- Pictures taken

- Times gone to the restroom
- Average wake up time

- Meals eaten (and a list of every item consumed!)

I’ll probably even do subcategories of the quantity values, so that I can have percentage values. For example, on emails received, what percentage were from family, spam, friends, school, etc.

If you want to make sure that I record a stat you’re interested in, let me know before the 1st so I can put a place for it on my notepad. Let the tally-marking begin in one week!

Quite Small Tales volume 4

Chon-Chon hated his English class because the teacher always picked on him. One day, after being the butt of the class’s laughter yet again, Chon-Chon asked his teacher: “Teacher, why do you always pick on me?” The teacher replied, “Because you’re just so pickable!” Chon-Chon, realizing the injustice of not being able to pick on the teacher back, replied “Well, you’re despicable!”

–

Totongo was on a date with a girl. After seeing a concert they went to a buffet afterwards to eat dinner. Seeing that there were fewer chairs than people, Totongo suggested that he move quickly through the line to save a seat for him and his date. He found a seat and sat down to eat his salad. His date arrived some time later, and stood next to her chair on the other side of the table. After several seconds, Totongo was confused as to why she wasn’t seated. Thinking she had forgotten something, he asked her what was wrong. “I don’t want to tell you,” said his date. Totongo assumed it was personal, and asked her if he could help. “No,” she answered. After several moments of awkwardness, and after having attracted the attention of several onlookers, his date finally hinted that she wished to be seated by him.

–

One day, Dinko's mother Tinga bought him new clothes and asked him to try them on. “No,” said Dinko. “I don’t need new clothes.” “Alright,” said Tinga. “But at least let me see if they’re your size. Then I’ll take them back.” When Dinko was putting on his clothes, Tinga told his older brothers and sisters to compliment Dinko’s clothes when he emerged. They smothered him with compliments about his new clothing. “Thank you for trying them on, Dinko,” said Tinga. “You can take them off so I can bring them back to the store now.” “No,” said Dinko. “I like them.”

AbelhawkHand Font ....sort of finished!

Recipe #3: Deconstructed Salad

I'm not a huge salad kind of guy. If I have the choice at a restaurant, I'll usually go for the soup, since I am a huge soup kind of guy. But I do like salad and vegetables. Sometimes I even crave them. But this recipe I invented is the most craveable of all. The Cruncher Salad combines the crunchiness of a vegetable dip tray with the personality of a side salad. Why chop all of them up when you can make a salad inside your own mouth?

Deconstructed Salad

"No assembly required!"

 Ingredients

• Lettuce
• 1 handful baby carrots
• 1-2 stalks celery, trimmed
• Half a cucumber
• Ranch dressing
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 1 facet bell pepper, or 2 or 3 mini peppers (optional)
• A few black olives (optional)

Directions

1. Cut a wedge out of the head of lettuce and place on your plate.
2. Put a handful of baby carrots around and over the lettuce.
3. Toss the celery stalk, cucumber and green pepper on there too. 
4. Drizzle with ranch dressing.
5. Grind pepper onto the salad.
6. Method of eating: Take a bite of the lettuce, then eat a baby carrot, a bite of celery, cucumber and green pepper. Enjoy the satisfying crunch of vegetables that haven't been cut up! It's a salad being made and eaten at the same time in your mouth!

YIELD: 1 salad.

Washes down well with...  Any actual entrée, such as steak, a burger, chicken, etc. Oh, and probably water.

Disturbing Snowman

I saw this snowman on the way to school today. Couldn't pass up making a creepy video about it.

AustinCraft finished!*

Well, I can't find anything else to change on Minecraft's original texture pack, so AustinCraft is ready for release! (I also wanted to do it now that the latest update is out)
If you're a Minecraft player, consider trying out my texture pack and see what you think. I didn't modify the whole look of Minecraft like other texture packs do; I merely fixed a few annoyances I thought were lacking.
Go here to download the Texture Pack and check out what things it changes!
____
*AustinCraft is subject to change, and therefore is not completely finished. As Minecraft is updated, Abelhawk will do his best to keep AustinCraft updated as well.