Quite Small Tales volume 4

Chon-Chon hated his English class because the teacher always picked on him. One day, after being the butt of the class’s laughter yet again, Chon-Chon asked his teacher: “Teacher, why do you always pick on me?” The teacher replied, “Because you’re just so pickable!” Chon-Chon, realizing the injustice of not being able to pick on the teacher back, replied “Well, you’re despicable!”

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Totongo was on a date with a girl. After seeing a concert they went to a buffet afterwards to eat dinner. Seeing that there were fewer chairs than people, Totongo suggested that he move quickly through the line to save a seat for him and his date. He found a seat and sat down to eat his salad. His date arrived some time later, and stood next to her chair on the other side of the table. After several seconds, Totongo was confused as to why she wasn’t seated. Thinking she had forgotten something, he asked her what was wrong. “I don’t want to tell you,” said his date. Totongo assumed it was personal, and asked her if he could help. “No,” she answered. After several moments of awkwardness, and after having attracted the attention of several onlookers, his date finally hinted that she wished to be seated by him.

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One day, Dinko's mother Tinga bought him new clothes and asked him to try them on. “No,” said Dinko. “I don’t need new clothes.” “Alright,” said Tinga. “But at least let me see if they’re your size. Then I’ll take them back.” When Dinko was putting on his clothes, Tinga told his older brothers and sisters to compliment Dinko’s clothes when he emerged. They smothered him with compliments about his new clothing. “Thank you for trying them on, Dinko,” said Tinga. “You can take them off so I can bring them back to the store now.” “No,” said Dinko. “I like them.”

Quite Small Tales volume 3

I need to do these more often. I keep forget to copy them down when they show up.

Jango and his family had been living in New Hampshire for three months. It was wintertime, and they were amazed at how cold it was getting, especially when the sun went down. Despite turning their heater all the way up, they still had to put their kids to bed in snow clothes to keep them from freezing. Jango called the landlord, who couldn’t guess what the problem was. Finally, one day Jango was looking at the windows and realized that in New Hampshire, some windows can open from the top or the bottom. The windows were all cracked open at the top behind the curtains. Jango realized that every day a train came by, vibrating the windows and sliding them down. Jango closed all the windows, and within five minutes the house was boiling hot.

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Timbo was an American who lived in Germany. One day he and his friend got on a train with their bicycles. The driver kicked them off, saying there was not enough room for bikes. Timbo was an irritable person, and went to the customer service desk to rant. Being American, he instinctively used formal German pronouns during his venting. There was nothing they could do, of course, because the train had already left. So they went on the next one. Later, Timbo’s friend Tümbe said that her neighbor worked at the train station and said that she had talked to them. Her neighbor had said “They came to me with a problem about our service, but they were so polite!”

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“Open your mouth and say  ‘Eee’!” said the worst doctor in the world.
“Everybody say ‘Choose’!” said the worst photographer in the world.

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Domba went on a date one night with a young man she knew from school. At the end of the date, he sent her a text message that read “Thank you for going out with me, Domba! Want to do it again sometime?” Having also had a great time, Domba replied with an appreciative “No, thank you!” The boy never called her again.

Quite Small Tales volume 2

A preschool teacher was trying to help a young boy play on a waterslide. The boy, despite his teacher’s explanations, continued to climb up the slippery part rather than walk around to the ladder. The boy smashed his face again and again, crying. Finally the teacher gave up, leaving the boy to figure it out on his own. Eventually, the boy did figure out how to go down the slide from the back, avoiding slipping and hurting himself. He went down for the first time, squealing with delight.
“Time to come inside!” called the principal.

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A child sat in the kitchen as his mother prepared dinner. Soon, his father came home. Hanging his coat on the coat hanger, the father walked toward the fridge, and asked “Do we have any booze?”
“What’s a boo?” asked the boy.

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Tingo and his brother Tongo were in the same math class at school. One day the teacher presented a difficult, time-consuming problem for them. Tingo spent a half hour on the problem and finished, and was able to play online role-playing games the entire evening with no worry. Tongo, on the other hand, procrastinated. He went with his friends to Pizza Hut, putting the math problem at the bottom of his priorities. He ended up finishing with his friends at 12:30 at night, was too tired to work on the math problem, and failed the assignment. This bumped his math grade from a “C-” to a “D+” and Tongo’s father took his iPod Touch away from him.

Quite Small Tales volume 1

Below are a few of what I call "Quite Small Tales." Each one is a true story I have heard, and each has a moral, but I'm not going to tell you what it is. That's up to you to try and guess. And yes, the names have been changed.

Jimbo was struggling with a relationship. Should he break it off or keep trying? After much debate, he decided to break it off. On the way to his girlfriend’s house he passed a Nike sign that read “Just do it!”
“Yes!” thought Jimbo.
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Bango lived in the 80’s, when Cabbage Patch Kids were a big fad. The fad was so large that his 6-year-old daughter was shunned at school for not having one. So he set out with his wife and daughter out to try and find a Cabbage Patch doll for her. Bango went to Kmart, but they were sold out. He went to Walmart, but they were also sold out. He went to the mall, he went to Toys Я Us, he went to every toy store he could find, and all were sold out of Cabbage Patch Kids. Bango was disgusted, as he hated the ugly dolls, but he wanted his daughter to fit in at school. Finally, they found a single Cabbage Patch doll in a corner of a department store, probably hidden for someone who wanted to come back for it later. It wasn’t the doll his daughter wanted, but she agreed to take it as it was all they could find. The doll’s price tag said $12.00, but Bango and his family had to pay $89.00 for the Cabbage Patch Kid.
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One night, Dingo rented a DVD from the video rental store. He took it home and put it in his DVD player, pressing the play button. As he began the movie, he realized with dismay that it was a widescreen setting, incompatible with his square TV. The image was stretched in the center of the screen, twin black lines at the top and bottom. Dingo frowned, but with no other option began to watch the movie. After five minutes of watching, Dingo forgot completely about the lines and enjoyed the film.