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Sep 22, 2020

1d100 Curses for Magic Items

A great way to throw players off is with cursed magic items. Simply take a regular magic item (which identifies as such), roll on this table, and add the accompanying curse to the item. Unless explained otherwise, these curses only affect the character or item when the character is attuned to it. The curse may linger after the character breaks their attunement to the item, which a remove curse or greater restoration spell can fix. At your discretion, these effects may also only happen if the character uses a cursed weapon and rolls a natural 1 with an attack with it, expends its charges, or other triggers.

Curses for Magic Items

d100    Curse
  1. Whenever you miss with the weapon, it hits you instead.
  2. You gain a random form of long-term madness that doesn't end until you end your attunement to the magic item. The form of madness changes randomly daily at dawn.
  3. A swarm of insects is attracted to the item. The swarm is friendly unless attacked, but buzzes noisily, causing you to automatically fail on Dexterity (Stealth) checks related to being silent. If you kill the swarm, a new one slowly reforms over the course of 1d4 hours.
  4. You gain vulnerability to a random type of damage. Roll a d10 to determine which: (1) acid (2) cold (3) fire (4) force (5) lightning (6) necrotic (7) poison (8) psychic (9) radiant or (10) thunder.
  5. Whenever you roll a 1 on an ability check, attack roll, or saving throw, you gain a form of short-term madness.
  6. You grow devilish horns and your eyes glow red. You have disadvantage on Charisma (Persuasion) checks made with good- and neutral-aligned characters and advantage made with evil-aligned characters.
  7. You are blinded when you are more than 10 feet away from the item.
  8. You gain 1d4 pounds each time you finish a long rest.
  9. Your mouth disappears. You no longer need to eat, but you cannot speak, or breathe out of your mouth. And you still need to drink water, which means you must drink through your nose.
  10. Your skin becomes dry and cracked. If you are not doused in at least 1 gallon of water each hour, you gain 1 level of exhaustion.
  11. You can't smell or taste anything.
  12. Nonmagical flames are extinguished when within 30 feet of you.
  13. Other creatures have insomnia whenever they are within 300 feet of you.
  14. Animals within 30 feet of you are hostile to you.
  15. You must eat and drink six times the normal amount each day.
  16. When you begin a long rest, you fall asleep and nothing will wake you until 10 hours have passed.
  17. Every time you meet a new creature, a voice whispers in your ear "Kill them."
  18. Your attunement with other magic items breaks and you cannot attune to other magic items.
  19. You suffer from chills and heat exhaustion. You automatically fail checks and saving throws related to extreme weather.
  20. You lose any darkvision you have and your ability to distinguish color.
  21. In order to buy something, you must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw with a DC equal to the number of total gp you are attempting to spend.
  22. Your alignment changes. You determine it by rolling a d6 twice. On the first roll, a 1–2 indicates lawful, 3–4 neutral, and 5–6 chaotic. On the second roll, a 1–2 indicates good, 3–4 neutral, and 5–6 evil.
  23. When you attune to the item, a ghost emerges from it and attempts to possess you. If it fails, it attacks instead.
  24. You take 4d10 psychic damage when you attune to the magic item and when you break your attunement to it.
  25. One of your ability scores is reduced by 2. Roll a d6 to determine which: (1) Strength (2) Dexterity (3) Constitution (4) Intelligence (5) Wisdom (6) Charisma. A greater restoration spell restores the ability to normal.
  26. You age 3d10 years. A greater restoration spell restores your age to normal.
  27. You shrink one size category and all damage dice that you deal with weapons is reduced by one step (for example, you deal 1d4 damage with a mace instead of 1d6).
  28. You have disadvantage on one type of skill check.
  29. Whenever you take damage, you take an additional 1d8 necrotic damage.
  30. You restore half as many hit points when healed magically.
  31. You cannot regain hit points through magical means.
  32. Your skin, hair, and/or eyes becomes a sickly yellow color.
  33. One of your legs grows longer than the other, reducing your walking speed by 10 feet. You also have disadvantage on Acrobatics checks.
  34. Two of your teeth turn into tusks, making it difficult to speak.
  35. Your arms become tentacles with fingers on the end; your reach increases by 5, but your Charisma is reduced by 2 (to a minimum of 1).
  36. When you roll for initiative, you are immediately affected by the crown of madness spell (DC 15), targeting random creatures within range.
  37. When you are brought to 0 hit points, you become a wight with all its hit points. You fiercely guard the magic item and attack any creature that comes within 10 feet of it. If this form is destroyed, you revert back to your normal form, at 0 hit points but stable.
  38. You can't read or write.
  39. The world seems to go by faster. You have disadvantage on initiative checks and your speed decreases by 10 feet.
  40. You are under the effect of a permanent bane spell.
  41. When you take damage from a creature, you are frightened of it until the end of your next turn.
  42. The item gives you pleasant but distracting daydreams. You have disadvantage on Wisdom checks.
  43. An imp becomes your annoying, unhelpful, disruptive, unwelcome familiar. No one else can see the imp.
  44. Your proficiency bonus becomes +0.
  45. Magic detects you as if your creature type was a fiend and undead.
  46. Every fourth time you use the item, you are banished as if by the banishment spell for 1 minute.
  47. You become haphephobic. Any creature who wants to cast a beneficial spell on you with a range of Touch must succeed on a melee spell attack against your AC or lose the spell.
  48. When you use the magic item, an aura of silence as per the silence spell appears in a 15-foot cube centered on the magic item and lasts for 1 minute.
  49. Potions have no effect on you.
  50. If you can cast spells, you only regain 1 spell slot (your choice of what level) per long rest.
  51. When you attune to the item, roll twice on the Wild Magic table.
  52. You have disadvantage on death saving throws.
  53. Your racial abilities, except for size and speed, are suppressed.
  54. When you attune to the item, make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw. On a failure, you begin to turn to stone and are restrained. You must repeat the saving throw at the end of your next turn, becoming petrified on a failure or ending the effect on a success. The petrification lasts until you are freed by the greater restoration spell or other magic.
  55. When you attune to the item, it casts power word kill on you.
  56. When you attune to the item, it casts true polymorph on you (DC 15), attempting to turn you into a sheep.
  57. The weather is always terrible within 1,000 feet of you.
  58. A floating rain cloud floats above your head, drizzling rain onto you and extinguishing open flames within your space.
  59. When you hold a gem in your hand, its value begins to rapidly (and visibly) decrease by 1 gp per second that you hold it. If a gem's value is reduced to 0, it crumbles into worthless sand.
  60. A shadow attacks you every time you finish a short rest.
  61. A shadow appears every time you finish a short rest, fiercely attacking everyone but you as if it were protecting you from them.
  62. You are unwilling to part with the item, keeping it within reach at all times.
  63. Each time you use the Disengage action, your walking speed reduces by 5 feet. If your speed is reduced to 0 feet, you fall prone. Your speed is restored after you finish a long rest.
  64. You sink like a stone in water and automatically fail on Strength (Athletics) checks to swim.
  65. When you shoot ammunition out of a ranged weapon, it always breaks on impact and is irretrievable.
  66. Whenever another creature within 10 feet of you takes damage, you take 1d4 sympathetic psychic damage.
  67. Your melee attacks within 5 feet are always nonlethal, and you cannot attack a creature that is at 0 hit points.
  68. Each time you take a long rest, you have a specific dream, such as wandering around a flat desert full of rocks, swimming in a burning lake, or talking to a beautiful fey creature. Each long rest makes the dream scarier. After the third long rest, you must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or gain no benefit from the long rest. The DC is 5 and increases by 5 after each success. After a failure, the DC resets to 5.
  69. When you, the player in real life, sneeze, your character catches fire, taking 1d10 fire damage at the start of each turn until a creature succeeds in putting it out with an action.
  70. You age much more quickly. For every year that passes, you age 5 years.
  71. One of your hands detaches and becomes a crawling claw under your control.
  72. You must always shout when you speak.
  73. Your appearance becomes fascinating to children. Children can't help but stare at you and often follow you around just to look at you.
  74. Whenever you search for traps, you always find one, which may or may not be real.
  75. You cannot drop the item, or doff it if it's an article of clothing.
  76. Each night, 1d4 of the gold pieces in your possession turn to worthless lead.
  77. Whenever you are mostly immersed in water, your sex changes.
  78. You turn into a rabbit during the full moon every month.
  79. You can only take an action or a bonus action, not both.
  80. You no longer have reactions.
  81. Alcohol becomes a powerful hallucinogen for you.
  82. Whenever you deal damage to a creature you must apologize or take 1d10 psychic damage.
  83. Divination magic you cast always gives the wrong information.
  84. You are afraid of the sun and you take 1 radiant damage whenever you start your turn in sunlight.
  85. Whenever you take damage, you gain a level of exhaustion that lasts for 1 minute.
  86. Your skin becomes ashen and splotchy. When you are brought to 0 hit points, you transform into a zombie. You remain in this form until you die.
  87. You cannot let go of the item.
  88. Each day, you have a 5% chance of being conjured to a different plane as a summoned minion of a spellcaster. If you die on the other plane, you reform at the place you last were on the Material Plane after 24 hours. 
  89. You see glimmering lights everywhere, imposing disadvantage on Wisdom (Perception) checks made to see.
  90. You constantly feel as if you're being followed, wherever you go.
  91. At the end of each long rest, you lose a possession of your choice if you do not succeed on a DC 10 Intelligence (Investigation) check.
  92. Your blood becomes acidic. Your skin turns a yellowish color, and whenever you take piercing or slashing damage, each creature within 5 feet of you takes 1d4 acid damage.
  93. Beasts of CR 1/8 or lower are frightened of you.
  94. You repel metal. Armor takes twice as long to don, and when you roll a natural 1 with an attack roll with a metal weapon, you drop it.
  95. Your reflexes deteriorate. You have disadvantage on Dexterity saving throws.
  96. You lose your luck. Whenever you roll a 20 on an ability check, saving throw, or attack roll, you must reroll the die and use the second result.
  97. Your hands get shaky, and you are unable to tie knots or write.
  98. If a monster you are attacking yields, begs for mercy, or flees, you must stop attacking it and acquiesce to its pleadings in the most amicable way possible.
  99. All your items and clothing become invisible.
  100. Undead within 300 feet of you always know exactly where you are and are drawn to you.

Sep 21, 2020

Relic Document: Redge's Dudes Stats

Here's a document like the one I posted yesterday, but one I made for my brother's team. The lore for it is interesting, and thanks to the note on his signature battlefield, I can tell these were both written in 2002, but I'm not sure if Redge ever even saw this document after it was typed up.






A valiant fighter in combet combat, Redge has medals of valor from Worm War II. His endurance in battle is admired by worms twice his age.

AGE: 28

SPECIALTY: Cluster Bombs/Grenades



One of Redge's closest friends, Kolby serves as the Dudes' assistant commander. He is the newest member of the Dudes, but was welcomed in by the other members like an older returned brother.

AGE: 24



Ether Trogg


Ether Trogg is the oldest of the Dudes, and has fought through both Worm War I and II. His specialty in estimating wind response is highly useful for the gang.

AGE: 57

SPECIALTY: Bazooka/Wind response weapons



Though considered a "class clown", Sheepnut has a strong vigor in war. Sheepnut was angered by his brother joining -CPU 4-, and was convinced to do anything to get him out--even if it came to K.O.'ing his brother into the water below.

AGE: 31





Jarvis is a serious man. He prefers to work indoors with his "Soft Fruit of Doom" and train alone on his own time. He is known through Worm history for inventing the Super Banana Bomb.

AGE: 39

SPECIALTY: Banana Bombs




The victim usually, Deeko was almost forced to give up his career as a warrior. he is known as the Lucky Lace because of his miraculous shots and wondrous dodging techniques.

AGE: 44

SPECIALTY: MORtar Bombs/Missiles



Of all the Dudes, Joanie is the only female. because of her feminine appearance, she is mocked often. Unfortunately for the mockers, Joanie can blast them to bits with her bombardment weaponry.

AGE: 28

SPECIALTY: Uzi/Minigun



Coco is the youngest Dude, but definitely not the weakest. His skills in explosives are admired by all the Dudes, and of course his "late" enemies!

AGE: 19

SPECIALTY: Dynamite/Mines



All who have fought on the Yaught are fearful for their lives, for if Redge and the Dudes are manning its guns, they will blow everyone to the bottom of the sea. The yaught consists of double sails, a basement, twin cannons. In summer of 1997, the Dudes built the aught

AGE: 5 years

Main Terrain: "Pirate"



SNAKE BITEY, a former Dude, ran away shortly after a fierce battle against -CPU 3-. Kedge thinks that he ran either because of embarrassment (Snake Bitey fought poorly in combat), or He ran away with his girlfriend. The entire reason Snakey fought so poorly was because he saw his girlfriend during training tryouts and missed most of the important ones. Redge, minus one player, hired Kolby as a replacement.



Sep 20, 2020

Relic Document: Austin's Veterans Stats

 This is an odd sort of project. I loved the game Worms 2 as a kid, and I seem to have made up a roster for the members of a Worms team I made on my parents' typewriter. I can tell that all the names (except mine) were randomly generated, and then I made up actual military roles for each of them based on what they could do in the game. My knowledge of military jargin has always been shoddy at best (the crap is a "prime navigator"?), but it's fun to see little bits and pieces of my childhood self in this writing.

My favorite thing to do on Worms 2 was to use the Ninja Rope to fling myself to specific places, so it's easy to see why that's my character's specialty. I wish I had a screenshot of "Newt Castle," because though I have no memory of what it looks like, I'm almost positive I made the map on Worms 2 as an actual map. I think my favorite aspect of this document is how I tried to explain away certain Worms 2 weapons that are utterly absurd in a sensible, game-manual-lore sort of way. Also, I think it's funny that I'm publishing this on my blog when I'm actually thirty-one years old. Not sure why I chose that age when I wrote this.


Austin's Veterans STATS



As leader of the veterans, Austin is a veteran. A veteran, in fact, of Worm War II. His skills in his invention Ninja Roper make him a quick and crafty fighter.

AGE: 31

SPECIALTY: Ninja Rope, Bungee, Parachute


2nd In Command


Spadge has been in other forces before he was a Veteran. In fact, he had his own force called Spadge's Coltrane. After being accused of insanity twice, though, he decided that the Veterans were kinder to him.

AGE: 33



Prime Navigator


Prawn, though one of the youngest warrior worms, fights with the ferocity of an experienced 40-year-old. With his superior techniques in Sheep, he is able to scout out for reinforcements.

AGE: 14

SPECIALTY: Sheep/Super Sheep/Cnfsd. Sheep Strike/Cloned Sheep


Head Scout


Austin welcomed Sveed into the Veterans not because he was German, but because he volunteered and had a knack for war. Sveed, at the time he was hired, was interested in priceless artifacts and building weapons out of them.

AGE: 44



Admiral Assault Warrior


The Assault Warrior in every team has big responsibilities in both assassination and spying. This position was hard for Chatchie because she is the head of a Catholic Church in New Orleans, and didn't care for war. She found a way to mix the cultures, however, and now serves as one of Austin's best fighters.

AGE: 29

SPECIALTY: Holy Hand-Grenades


Expert Infiltration Spy


Bandu's experience in spying allows him to sneak up on the enemy and destroy them easily. He has a large arsenal of gunpowder weapons to use at will.

AGE: 31

SPECIALTY: Dynamite, Land Mines




Thanks to Milo, the Veterans can go into places they never before could. Milo's range of drills and digging equipment allow him to channel the ground into tunnels and air strike shelters.

AGE: 39

SPECIALTY: Pneumatic Drill, Blow Torch, Girder




Bungle has fought in modern Martial Arts to strengthen his body as well as his mind. He serves as Austin's assassin, killing the heroes of other armies.

AGE: 25

SPECIALTY: Fire Punch, Dragon Ball, Kamikaze


Backup Substitute Soldier


Austin was sad to exclude Zadwik, who was his classmate in the Academy, but he allowed him to become a backup soldier and fight only if one of his (Austin's) warriors were crippled into uselessness.

AGE: 32

SPECIALTY: Air Strikes, (Napalm, Homing, Air, Mail) Prod


* * *

Home Territorial Spot


Austin's Veterans found a spot of land to build their a castle tower. The tower is made mainly of dirt (Milo crafted it) and strategic windows and turrets. The "Newt" Castle was built in the outskirts of London.

AGE: 6 years since it was built

SPECIAL FEATURES: Turrets, Windows, underground shelter

MAIN TERRAIN: "Medieval"



WANT TO HIRE A VETERAN? call toll-free 1-800...

XXXXXX ⟵ (This is where I crossed something out by typing Xs over it)

1-800-VETERANWORMS or visit our website at: www.austin.littlewormswithbigheads.org/veterans.html









Milo(battle):$3900 Milo(digging):$67,000,000.99

Bungle: $2900

Zadwik: -free-